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Messages - SteveA

Pages: 1 2 [3] 4 5 ... 89
31
Here's your English lesson for the day!
 
"Complete" or "Finished"?
 
During a recent linguistic conference, held in London, England, and attended by some of the best linguists in the world, Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese linguist, was the presenter when he was asked to make that distinction.
The question put to him by a colleague in the erudite audience was this: “Some say there is no difference between ‘complete’ and ‘finished.’ Please explain the difference in a way that is easy to understand.”
Mr. Balgobin’s response: “When you marry the right woman, you are ‘complete.’ If you marry the wrong woman, you are ‘finished.’ And, if the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are ‘completely finished.’”

His answer received a five minute standing ovation.

32
One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering,  the Pastor of a small church  found a pink envelope containing  $1,000. It happened again the next week!

The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected  And saw an elderly woman put the distinctive pink envelope on  the plate. This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her.

"Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week  in the collection plate," he stated.

"Why yes," she replied, "every week my son sends me money  And I give some of it to the church."

The pastor replied, "That's wonderful. But $1000 is a lot, are you sure you can afford this? How much does he send you?"

The elderly woman answered, "$10,000 a week."

The pastor was amazed. "Your son is very successful; what does he do for a living?

"He is a veterinarian," she answered..

"That's an honorable profession, but I had no idea they made that much money," the pastor said. "Where does he practice?"

The woman answered proudly, "In Nevada..... He has two cat houses, one in Las Vegas, and one in Reno   

33
After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in his seat and closed his eyes.
As the train rolled out of the station, the young woman sitting next to him pulled
out her cell phone and started talking in a loud voice:

"Hi sweetheart. It's Sue. I'm on the train".
"Yes, I know it's the six thirty and not the four thirty, but I had a long meeting".
"No, honey, not with that Kevin from the accounting office. It was with the boss".
"No sweetheart, you're the only one in my life".
"Yes, I'm sure, cross my heart!"
Fifteen minutes later, she was still talking loudly.
 
When the man sitting next to her had enough, he leaned over and said into the phone,
"Sue, hang up the phone and come back to bed."
 
Sue doesn't use her cell phone in public any longer

34
One evening, after the honeymoon, Tom was working on his Harley motorcycle in the garage.

His new wife was standing there by the bench watching him. After a long period of silence she finally said, "Honey, I've just been thinking, now that we are married, maybe it's time you quit spending so much of your time out here in your garage. You probably should also consider selling your Harley and all your welding equipment along with your gun collection, and your fishing gear, and the boat and lose all those stupid model airplanes, plus dump that vintage hot rod sports car, and your home brewing equipment..."

Tom got a horrified look on his face.

She said, "Darling, what's wrong?"

He replied, "There for a minute, you were starting to sound like my ex-wife."

"Ex-wife!?" she screamed, "YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!"
 

Tom replied, “I wasn't.."

35
General Discussion / Re: Uniform?
« on: September 05, 2018, 10:31:15 AM »

36
The Business Of Upholstery / Re: Respect For Equipment Operators
« on: September 04, 2018, 01:22:39 PM »
Come on Mojo - just another minor campagine for you - You are always in trouble !  The neighbors must have been happy to see that rig go back.  I'm sure they wondered if their property was next on the chopping block when they saw a wild man breaking stuff with a big machine -  I hope you can throttle back down to work a sewing machine again - 
SA

37
General Discussion / Re: Let's build a table
« on: September 03, 2018, 08:48:05 AM »
I've been trying to adapt the best method in my work space for more years than I can count.  The main work bench can't be moved so I raise and lower it with 6 x 6's  and the combination of a piano like stool that I can raise and lower myself.  The bench is 7 feet x 42 inch and over 800 lbs - one day I can be covering a chair seat at 40 inches high and the next day heavy hammering of plywood together at 30 inches.  I could never do any serious building on a scissor like table because it would be unsteady. Also have saw horses and a 25 inch rolling table that's 50 inches x 40 inches.  The combo of all the props gets me through

 

 


38
General Discussion / Re: Great idea for cutting foam!
« on: August 31, 2018, 01:34:47 PM »
I don't think that is a glue gun - it looks like a gravity feed finish gun.  It's going to clog - adhesive guns don't mix internally -
SA

39
General Discussion / Re: Great idea for cutting foam!
« on: August 31, 2018, 09:46:37 AM »
That young fellow does a really nice job.  I've watched his videos many times, - they are up in Canada - doesn't look like a very big shop but a lot of action there
SA

40
My wife and I went to the Texas Agricultural State Fair and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls.  We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said,

' THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR '


My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs .....Smiled and said, 'He mated 50 times last year, that's almost once a week.'


We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said,
''THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR'

My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, 'WOW~~That's more than twice! a week ! ..........You could learn a lot from him.'


We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said,
in capital letters,
'THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR'

My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said,
'That's once a day ..You could REALLY learn something from this one.'

I looked at her and said,
'Go over and ask him if it was with the same cow.'

41
General Discussion / Re: Great idea for cutting foam!
« on: August 30, 2018, 03:08:48 PM »
no boss - this one for staple shaving


42
General Discussion / Re: Great idea for cutting foam!
« on: August 30, 2018, 11:51:33 AM »
Have you considered the Bosch oscillating tool (corded) ?  Come on Doc -
SA

43
General Discussion / Re: Church Job
« on: August 29, 2018, 06:34:38 AM »
I hope he was praying for a discount ? Did he mention the parable about a camel and a needle ?
SA

44
General Discussion / Re: woodworking
« on: August 29, 2018, 06:32:02 AM »
I'm not going back to that first spark but in my life time I can't help seeing some dramatic changes facilitating our craft. It's what I can personally attest to.  Don't get me wrong - I'm not a purest - I repair mostly antiques using both old and modern methods. Between us - I prefer the modern methods.  I have no need to pick up a molding plane or a bit and brace.  I do have the ability to judge the old ways against the new ways over the last 50 years.  I appreciate watching those videos - who stops learning ?   I would caution you that it's television, edited, advertisement, camera angles, and showing you all the best scenes without mistakes.  Craftsmanship isn't like that - everyday you will say to yourself I should have done it a different way.  You're blessed that your Son shows an interest although it costs - my Boys don't want any part of what I do and it's frustrating not to be able to pass on to them what I've labored to learn.  I know some day they will kick themselves and say we missed an opportunity that was right in front of us.
SA 

45
General Discussion / Re: Should we have our air compressors checked?
« on: August 29, 2018, 06:14:24 AM »
Mine is also over 25 years old.  A few years ago I was concerned for that same issue and I called the retailer who sent over a tech to pressure test it and ck the mechanicals  - cost me
$ 100.00 but was worth it for peace of mind.  I also believe as long as you listen for changes in the sound, ck the pressure relief value every so often - clean the air filter - ck the water for rust - change the oil,  you will be OK .  Before the guy left he filled out an affidavit certifying the compressor as fit and on the doc it says in accordance with the law ?
SA

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