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July 22, 2018, 07:48:53 AM
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Messages - gene

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True story. It was on the internet.

A girl got a text from her mom. It said, "Aunt Thelma has died. She will be missed by all of us. LOL Mom."

The girl quickly called her mom and said she was sorry to hear about Aunt Thelma. She then asked her mom what LOL meant. Her mom said "Lot's of love." The girl then told her mom what it really means. Her mom panicked and said she had to go so she could call all the people she sent that text to explain her mistake.

General Discussion / Re: Using Expanding Foam in Arm Chair
« on: May 18, 2018, 05:47:16 PM »
I might add jute webbing to the arms. Staple it at the front side of the arm and run it back through the chair frame, pull it tight with a web stretcher, and staple at the back. 4 or 5 rows of jute webbing would make a nice surface that follow the contour of the arm. Cover with foam or cotton.

I would not try to reuse that cardboard.

Love to hear what you decide to do along with a pic of the finished chair. 


General Discussion / Re: Something Neat Under All That Fabric
« on: May 17, 2018, 02:48:46 PM »

Me: I'll take "Plants" for $300 Alex.

Alex: It gains elegance and softens to behold the most fluid drape.

Me: Linen!

Alex: I'm sorry Gene, but you are an idiot. Once again you forgot to put your answer in the form of a question.

Me: If it's an ANSWER then how in the H E double hockey sticks can it be a QUESTION?

On my first business trip to Arkansas I saw a field of cotton. I stopped and walked out into the field. This was the first time I saw bolls in person. I was wearing my business suit. A state trouper pulled up behind my car. He asked me what I was doing. I told him I hadn't seen cotton before. He said something like "Be safe. Have a nice day." And he drove off. I'm sure I wasn't the first northerner he saw walking through a cotton field.

Beautiful work on that chair, kodyD.


General Discussion / Re: Something Neat Under All That Fabric
« on: May 16, 2018, 08:38:34 AM »
I hate to find where the previous upholsterer not only covered some of the finished wood with fabric, either because they didn't know how to do it correctly or because they were saving time, and the finished wood now has staple or tack holes in it.

Wow! on that tufted medallion. And to think that was the back of the chair.

Thanks for the pics.


General Discussion / Re: Friday Funny
« on: May 11, 2018, 08:22:08 AM »
True story:

A Wildlife Preservation Office was showing us an owl that had been injured and lived at the animal shelter. He said owls are the only natural predator to skunks. Most injured owls that they get stink like skunks. He said owls catch most of their prey from sound and not sight. Owls have great hearing and great vision. But when it comes to smell, owls don't give a hoot.


I took the old fabric off a recliner this morning. I used my Sofa Dream Machine. (I'm sure we all name our tools.) I named my oscillating cutting tool after Sofa Doc, who shared this idea on the forum. My Quickbooks acounting software and my Sofa Dream Machine are the two biggest time savers I have.

By the way, the biggest time waster I have is me getting another drink of coffee or switchel.

90% of the fabric was cut away without removing the staples. I ran the cutter under the fabric and it just pealed off the fabric. No remnants of fabric were left under the staples. I did this with the poly batting that was stapled.

I don't know if the combination of fabric, staples, and hard wood made this so easy, but it was great not to have wood dust, where I pushed too hard, and great not to have a lot of staple pieces to vacuum up. And I did have some because places where multiple staples were used and where the fabric was bunched up and stapled, the cutter needed to go through the staples.


General Discussion / Re: Moray Fabric
« on: May 08, 2018, 08:00:36 PM »
When you have to explain a joke, it usually isn't funny. Maybe this time it will be different. Here's to a chuckle and not a groan.

The governor of WV announced that they were passing a law to make it illegal to stalk."Stalk" is the key word to the joke.

What do state Natural Wild Life Services do to lakes to keep the fish population at a healthy level? They, wait for it, ready? They "stock" the lakes. Many fisher persons heard the governor saying it would be illegal to stock lakes, hense, those that could write wrote letters to the state capital. Those that could not write had someone else write for them and they made their mark at the bottom of all that chicken scratching.

Maybe if I told the joke with a West Virginia accent it would have been a bit clearer.

gene  :-)

General Discussion / Re: Moray Fabric
« on: May 08, 2018, 08:10:06 AM »
Many years ago now, there were several high profile cases in West Virginia where people were being followed by strangers and then assaulted. West Virginia passed legislation putting severe penalties for stalking. The governor gave a press announcement saying he was passing legislation to halt all stalking. The governors office got hundreds of complaints from concerned citizens saying that if this law went into effect all the lakes would run out of fish. True story.

General Discussion / Re: Church Job
« on: May 07, 2018, 07:56:39 PM »
I think all the standing and sitting and kneeling and standing and sitting and kneeling, is to loosed up your pants so you can get to your wallet easier when the collection plate comes around.

"Don't make me holler don't make me shout. Turn those pockets inside out. It it jingles we'll take it, but we prefer it to fold."
 The Reverend Deuteronomy Skaggs.


General Discussion / Re: Excitement
« on: May 07, 2018, 07:49:01 PM »
I've realized that I am at a place where I can always figure out what I did to make a mistake. Last week I put an 80" piece of foam inside my 80 boxed cushion. Unfortunately the boxed cushion was 100 inches, not 80". After I seamed to make the top and bottom panels, I forgot to cut them to 81" (includes my seam allowance).

I figure in 15 more years I'll be like the old timers on this forum who no longer make mistakes. Actually, the only depressing thing on this forum is when you old timers talk about making mistakes. I keep hoping I can get good enough to be perfect. :-)

General Discussion / Re: Moray Fabric
« on: May 07, 2018, 07:45:12 PM »
I no longer have the web site, but if you google you might find it. It showed patterns and angles for all types of shapes. Balls, cones, squares, etc. All you needed to do was add for your seam allowance.

I made a round fabric cone pillow, like a big Hershey's Kiss. I printed out the pattern, enlarging it to the size I wanted, then added seam allowance and sewed it together. Then I took it apart, checked everything, sewed it together, took it apart, checked again, then sewed it together for a perfect cone pillow. Easy, right?

Kool on the red fish. It's amazing how much it helps the fish population when we have regulations for throwing back some of the smaller fish.


General Discussion / Re: Whats for dinner
« on: May 07, 2018, 07:35:59 PM »
Marinate asparagus in olive oil and salt and pepper. Grill until the florets are crispy black. Almost as good as fresh backed chocolate chip cookies.

General Discussion / Re: Church Job
« on: May 06, 2018, 11:37:25 AM »
I've always heard that Catholics never bother to take their coats off in church. They're not going to be there very long.

I grew up in a Christian evangelical church. It started early and always ended well after the normal lunch hour.


Some guy named Doyle asked this same question back in 2016.  :-)



General Discussion / Re: Excitement
« on: May 02, 2018, 05:48:02 PM »
I'm at the place where, when I make a mistake, I can figure out what I did to screw it up.

I still occasionally get things in that take much longer than I expected.


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