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Mojo's Friday Funnies

Started by Mojo, November 05, 2010, 04:01:45 am

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Mojo


This two-letter word in English has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word
is "UP".  It is listed in the dictionary as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n] or [v].

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky
or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP  for election and why is it UP  to the secretary to write UP  a report?

We call UP  our friends, brighten UP  up a room, polish UP  the silver, warm UP  the leftovers and clean UP  the kitchen.  We lock UP  the house and fix UP  the old car.

At other times this little word has real special meaning.  People stir UP  trouble, line UP  for tickets, work UP  an appetite, and think UP  excuses.

To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is
special.  And this UP  thing is confusing: A drain must be opened UP  because it is stopped UP.   

We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP  at night.  We seem to be pretty mixed UP  !

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look UP  the word UP  in the dictionary.  In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP  almost 1/4 of the page and can add UP  to about thirty definitions.   

If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP  is used.  It will take UP  a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP , you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP.  When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP.  When it rains, it soaks UP the earth.  When it does not rain for awhile, things dry UP.  One could go on & on, but I'll wrap it UP  for now  ........my time is UP! 

Oh....one more thing:

What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night?

U

P   !!!! 


SHHR

Quote from: Mojo on November 05, 2010, 04:01:45 am

What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night?

U

P   !!!! 





Plus the many times I get UP during the night to as well! ;D

gene

Reading that got me so nauseous that I want to throw up.

gene
QUALITY DOES NOT COST, IT PAYS!

sofadoc

Does this mean before I can UPholster something, I have to holster it first?
"Perfection is the greatest enemy of profitability" - Mark Cuban

gene

Would it be more proper to say, "down holster"? I need to down holster this chair before I can upholster it.

Breaking up is hard to do. Breaking down gets you a trip to the psych ward, unless it's your car, then you get a trip in the tow truck.

gene
QUALITY DOES NOT COST, IT PAYS!

Darren Henry

QuoteDoes this mean before I can UPholster something, I have to holster it first?


I hope it isn't a hide-a-bed  :o Those suckers are heavy.
Life is a short one way trip, don't blow it!Live hard,die young and leave no ill regrets!

lilsuz

U

P   !!!! 


[/quote]


^

up to the top
::) (oops, couldn't resist) :P

sofadoc

Don't forget, if you're being sued, you have to get "all lawyered UP".
"Perfection is the greatest enemy of profitability" - Mark Cuban

wind_rose_2

And if you don't like the price...well.....UP yours!